Elf on the Shelf and Other Musings...

I've been on hiatus...which really means things have been mayhem.

 Between working full time and attempting to spend quality time with my two daughters, it's been hard finding the time to blog. 

With a three and four year old in the house, things have been absolutely magical for the past few months.  Halloween...what can I say???

We fully enjoyed wearing makeup and feeling very princessy, albeit pissed about being forced to wear sweaters under our ball gowns.  Just when I thought we looked perfect, my eldest reminded me that all princesses need beautiful lashes.  A bit "Toddlers and Tiaras", sure, but after all, it was Halloween.

Now with Thanksgiving being tomorrow, it's a bit hard to enjoy the moment and not fast forward right to Christmas.  At school, they made the most adorable Native American and Pilgrim outfits, which are now barely held together with scotch tape.   As my youngest explained, "We have to be a Flative-Americoff", for Thanksgiving,  "We came on the Mayflower".  At three, history is not a strong point.

On the way home from school, my eldest informed me that we needed to get an Elf on the Shelf, like her teacher has.  She told me all about how these magical creatures watch how kids behave and report back to Santa.  She suggested that we write to Santa and ask to get one for the holidays, before adding that her sister really deserved to be on the naughty list.

It is fascinating to watch them.  They are amazed by everything...enchanted by the things we grown ups take for granted.  It makes me long for the "good 'ole days" when it was the simple things in life that gave us such enjoyment.   

We are just basking in the glow.

Fall Has Arrived!

Hi everyone!

I've been super busy this month...fabulous wedding, back to school for me, new school for the girls.  I feel like I can finally breath again.

Sadly, a new school for the girls brings diseases.  We've had a troubling case of the snots around here for the past two weeks.  The kids share everything at school, including germs.  Luckily the pukes hit just in time for daddy to go away for his fun weekend with friends. (help)

Here are a few pics of our fun goings on this month!  More to come soon.

Mommy & Daddy at Meg's Wedding

Grandma & Grandpa Florida are here to visit

Twist and Pull

Teddy Bear Parade day at school

Sweet Sisters

Story of Rapunzel

Here is the story of Rapunzel, according to Lucy:

Once upon a time, there was a very hairy princess who lived in a castle deep in the woods...

(Kinda sounds like Sasquatch, or one of my elder lady relatives)

Plymouth Invasion

 Trying out the Pilgrim chair

Enthralled with the Native People



We really just want to play hide and seek



The Pilgrim Garden

An amazing thing happened on our family vacation...I learned a lot about my children. 


 At Plymouth Plantation, my eldest, refused to use the politically correct term "native people" saying, "I like to call them Indians".  (Insert mom cringe) 

She became quite shy in the face of history.  We had talked all about the Mayflower and Plymouth Plantation, which she was very excited about visiting.  She referred to it as "the place where people pretend to be from long ago".  I told her about how she could ask lots of questions. 
 She had nothing to say. 

But she did ask our waitress at the hotel what all the spots were that were on her arms (freckles).

My youngest, who never sits still, found the one child "actress" at the plantation and quickly initiated a game of hide and seek, tempting her to break character.  When the actress fell and skinned her knee, mommy rescued her with good 'ole fashioned 21st century Neosporin and band-aids while the other tourists looked on.

The most interesting discovery was that no matter how hard we try, the girls absolutely refuse to ride in the stroller at the mall, but insisted on riding in the stroller through every museum and attraction we visited.


Most enlightening of all, the hotel was the best part, as far as they were concerned. My daughter sat at the breakfast buffet, enchanted and acted like she was the Queen of England.

Hotel Gymnastics

The Mom Suit

                                   
"I got a mom suit," my sister reported, resigned to the fact that her bikini days have passed, or least put indefinitely on hold.  She was talking about her new summer bathing suit. 

We can kid ourselves into thinking that it's "retro", or that we're rocking the '50's pinup style...

It's still a mom suit. 

There comes a time when all moms realize that for one reason or another, the mom suit is necessary. 
Most common reasons for having the epiphany:

1.  The bod calls for it.  The stomach is in no way ready to have the light of day cast upon it.  How horrifying it would be if a saggy boob might slip its way into the sun.

2.  Your child may cause you to be arrested for indecent exposure.  No matter the age, young children seem compelled to pull at the straps, or are just curious to see what's in those padded support cups.

Don't feel that you need to run to the granny section right away, there are some cute options out there.

             

Quote of the Week

Lucy: "Daddy, do princesses pick their noses?"

Daddy:  "No."

Lucy: "I don't think I'll be a princess today."

Priorities

It wasn't so long ago that I had, perhaps, unusually high expectations when making plans for long weekends and vacations.  I would spend lots of time planning, shopping, and generally prepping for these times.  Vacations weren't a complete success unless I could be where I wanted to go and could wear what I wanted to wear and be with whom I wanted to be with.

This past week, I've spent a lot of time hanging with the girls doing things that, in the past, I wouldn't have found especially interesting, and certainly not relaxing... and I've had the absolute best time.  It's amazing how the simplest things seems to be the best.

Nowadays, having a good time means watching the girls have a good time, regardless of my own comfort.  Of course, having a stack of my favorite magazines makes it even better.  I can at least enjoy fantasizing about the vacation of my dreams.  I must be growing up...   

Sometimes you resort to this...

Now that summer is officially here, I'm getting a severe case of the doldrums.  Not accustomed to being with the little ones all day, my patience has been wearing a bit thin. 

I've tried all kinds of things to keep us busy.

Running out of ideas, my eldest suggested a beauty day.  Always up for a makeover, I've sadly allowed this to happen.  

The Princess Cops a Squat

My eldest is a little princess.  She's dainty, wears dresses, plays with makeup, has tea parties while speaking in a british accent...you get the idea.

One of my favorite passtimes is to watch her play with her sister in the backyard, while doing dishes at the kitchen sink. I can see them, but they don't know they're being watched, which is actually really fun and often very informative.

Imagine my surprise while observing one day, to see my eldest excuse herself from her tea party, (she actually said "excuse me madame" to her younger sister), exited the little pink playhouse, took off her skirt and peed right there, drunken sorority girl style, in her front yard.

I stood at the sink with mouth agape.  Where had she learned this little trick??  I yelled from the kitchen and asked her what in the world she was doing. 

She replied, fake british accent still intact, "So sorry mommy, but  I didn't want to pee pee in my pants.  How rude.". 

Actually that makes perfect sense.

The Black Eye and Hitler Mustache

 Sephora is one of the best places that a girl can spend the day.  You can come in with a naked face and leave looking like Lady Gaga, if you want to. 
This past weekend, I decided to venture into Sephora, with the girls in tow, to see what was new.  I must admit, I shed a proud tear that my girls have inherited my  love of all things beauty, but on this particular day their interest was quite the source of humiliation.

As I browsed through the latest Urban Decay eyeshadow colors, my girls did some browsing, and sampling of their own. 

No sooner had I turned to the display to begin, when I noticed a small person to my left attacking the new (gasp) Makeup Forever eye shadows.  She turned to face me and I noticed that she mad managed to create the perfect purple-pinkish facial contusion on herself.  It was a CSI quality bruise. I ignored her for the moment, after all she was busy and quiet, and returned to my work.

Next,  I glimpsed a blonde, curly mop bobbing past.  At first look, a happy two year old.  Upon closer inspection, a small Charlie Chaplin impersonator, or could it be...Hitler?  Oh no...she had gotten a hold of the latest Kat Von D eye shadow kit and had applied an offensive mustache to herself.

In horror, I grabbed them and ran off toward the elevator.  Another shopping day ruined.

Note to Self

Dear Self,

I'd like to suggest that you put down the Oreos and remember that you ordered that bridesmaid's dress in a size smaller than you should have.

 Listen, I know you're thinking that you still have plenty of time to fit into it, but don't kid yourself...it's really going to be awful if you have to wear two pair of Spanx just to zip it up, and you can forget about enjoying your dinner while wearing those torture devices.

Just Trying to Help,

Self

P.S., I know the cupcakes taste good, but they are not your friend. 

Thought it many times...

I can't tell you how many times I've thought this...but have not voiced it.  Definately going to pick this one up!  Who's with me???

New iphone (that I never get to use)

38 pictures just like this one...

I could not wait to get my new iphone, and now that it's here, I don't really get to use it. 

Well, if there was ever any doubt that children these days are better at using technology...I'm here to tell you it's true. 

My two year old can operate my iphone 4 better than I can.  She can take pictures (see above), use all of the apps (especially the annoying ones), and can make calls (sometimes to people we know, sometimes not), but most of all she can text.  She sends LONG texts.  Sure they mean nothing now, but I have high hopes.

Magic Times

This weekend, I brought my daughters downtown for the first time this year.  It was a beautiful day and I had some errands to run, so I explained to them that we would be heading into the city.   They were very excited and were expecting to see something like "Berry-Bitty City" on their Strawberry Shortcake Cartoon.  When I explained to them that we would be going into an underground tunnell (the concourse), Lucy was excited to see all of the dirt and bugs???

We all skipped across the plaza, holding hands, windblown, the girls each wearing one of my sweatshirts, laughing all the way.  A simple errand had turned into something magical. 

A moment of clarity: these are the magic times, times that seem like they're just about the best that life can offer, times when you just want to freeze eveything, capture the moment and remember it forever.

For a second, I thought of fishing through my purse to take a picture with my phone, but decided against it, choosing to just enjoy being there.  Can a picture really capture it anyway? 

Most Annoying App Ever

As if the "stop copying me" complaint could get any worse...apparently there's an app for copying you.  Joy.  What's worse is that not only does it copy whatever you say, but it repeats what you've said in a super annoying kitty cat voice.  Great.  And we're fighting over it.

RHNJ

What is it about those housewives that makes the show so addiciting?

I went from being ashamed to admit that I watched it (insert any city of housewives here), to barely being able to contain myself from attacking someone (to talk about the latest drama, of course) who watches, too.

My favorite is New Jersey.

I can't help myself.  It's like an unscripted version of Jerry Springer, with no bodyguards to save them.  I want to be Jacqueline's friend, want Carolyn to be my second mom, hate Ashley, and I'm not sure about Theresa.  I kinda like the new girl, you know the wife of the brother who was insane and banged the table last week.  What is it with the tables???

Anyhoo...anyone else obsessed?  I also LOVE New York and want to know what Sonja has done to her face.  She looks amazing!

Terrible Twos

Nothing like a late morning shit-fit to start a Saturday off right. 

Natalie is 2 and a half and brings a new kind of terrible to the twos.  She wants to do EVERYTHING by herself, even if it's not actually possible for her to do it by herself.  Most of all, she hates being rushed.

Which brings me to this morning...

We were late to Lucy's dance class yet again, so of course we were rushing, or rather I was rushing.  They were doing everything but rushing.  Lucy was climbing the tree out front in her ballet costume, Natalie was running in circles around the van, then insisting that she was going to ride in the back seat. 

Finally, I coerced her into her seat with promises of a new doll at Target.  We were off!  Once we entered the parking lot, all hell broke loose.  She actually collapsed on the concrete behind the van and refused to move, due to some imagined slight.  I resorted to grabbing her and carrying her into the dance studio, where she resumed her fit, in front of all the waiting mommies, whose daughters were, of course, already in class.  There was shrieking and crying, all done in the most excruciating tone and volume, the likes of which I've never heard.

Lucy and I went on with business as usual, ignoring this scene, getting her ballet shoes on.  Lucy, worried about her sister, said (at high volume of course), "Mommy, someone might steal Natalie from the front while we're in here". 

All the other mommies were listening intently to hear my reply to her innocent concern.
"Oh, honey, I don't think any one's going to want her today," I said with a laugh.  The other mommies laughed, too.  What else can you do in the face of pure evil?

Inherited Traits?

It's amazing how two girls, born into the same household, within two years of each other can be so different.

The oldest:  sensitive, sweet, rule-following, sleeps late, active imagination, princess-like

The youngest: scrappy, funny, early riser, fearless, headstrong, independent, fit thrower

The funniest part is that although the oldest looks just like my husband, she acts just like me, and the youngest looks like me, acts like him.

The parents:  amazed and awed every day!

Calgon???

Sometimes the minute my husband walks in from work, he gets hit with the, "I need a break".

Take tonight, for example. 

After working a full day, I had some errands to run after work.  Then I picked up the kids, took them on a "pizza date", came home to plant flowers before they died (the flowers, not the kids), played outside, bathed them, chased them around as they ran from me (naked, of course), prepared a nighttime snack (since they didn't really eat on our date), told stories, and they still weren't nearly ready for bed (even though I was ready for them to be).

The other problem, is that even though I feel like I'm always rushing...somehow I'm always late.  Rushing out the door, but late to work.  Rushing to get home and let the sitter leave, after I've made a mad dash through the store to get some things we ran out of.  This would normally be fine, except there's no time to really catch my breath.  My kids are excited to see me and deserve their mommy time.  What's troubling is feeling like I have to rush home from work to be with the kids, and rush from the kids in the morning to get to work, feeling like I'm not really hitting a homerun at either.

Calgon, take me away.

 

Invisible Robot Granny

Ahhh, the invisible friend, or rather, in my daughter's case, Invisible Robot Granny. 
She came along around a year ago.  I get the "invisible", and the "granny", but why the robot?  Anyway, sometimes she visits quite often, or months can go by between appearances.  I myself did not have an invisible friend, but both my siblings did.  I understand this is pretty normal for kids, but sometimes I wonder...

When asked by her uncle Steve (who had his own Mrs. Brisby) what Invisible Robot Granny looks like, my daughter described her as having, "rainbow hair, eight arms, and large teeth".  She sounds a lot like "IT" the clown from a Stephen King novel, but Lucy doesn't seem scared of her at all.  In fact, Invisible Robot Granny can do amazing feats.

Invisible Robot Granny can fly, hide mommy's ipod, and apparently accidentally pee on the floor.  She's also the one who taught Lucy to say "dammit" to the dog.  Not surprisingly, Natalie can see her, too. 

I'm a little worried now, because Lucy asked me today if I knew her Robot Pirate Uncle from Greenland.  Yes, Greenland.  Her actual Granny got her a globe for her birthday. 

Mysterious Potty Behavior

After seriously trying to potty train my daughter over April vacation, I gave up.  Well, not totally, but I figured, being that she ran away screaming each time I broached the subject, that she needed a bit more time.  It seemed that she didn't mind sitting in a wet diaper, or worse wet undies, and actually ran and hid when I tried to change her.  I took these subtle clues to mean that she was not quite ready.

We moved on, vowing to try again in a month.

Well, the strangest thing happened.  It seems that my daughter woke up on Tuesday and decided that she was potty trained. 

She started saying that she had to pee and that she needed to go on the pot.  She would stop playing, grab our hand, and lead us to the bathroom.  She actually got out of the tub to go, and she initiated every visit to the pot.  Even today, all day with the sitter and not a single accident!

Strange.

 My husband asked me what happened in the last 24 hours to cause this drastic turn of events??  No idea.

 He is now taking all the credit for this phenomenon, claiming that his dramatic interpretation of the book, "No More Diapers For Ducky" was the cause.

What is going on??

Scared and Delighted

My daughter turned four today.

It's an amazing thing, considering that I can still remember what it felt like when she was in utero and kicking away.  There's the old cliche that time flies, and mothers with college age children always advise you to "enjoy them while they're young" and "in a blink of an eye, they'll be all grown up".

I always just smiled and thought that I was MILES away from feeling that way.  Well, I'm starting to realize the harsh reality of the situation:  My daughter is growing up, even though I'm not ready in any way for that to happen. 

My daughters were born 15 months apart and things were hairy, to say the least, for the first couple of years...in fact I think I blocked a lot of it out completely.  Now they're so fun and every day is an adventure.

It may be unhealthy, selfish, but some mornings we're all cuddling and I wish that I could just freeze time and that my two daughters would be this age forever.

I'm delighted that they're growing into two amazing, little people right before my eyes, and that's wonderful, but it also scares me to death. 

Will I wake tomorrow and find that they're teenagers who hate my guts?  I know it's coming.  Every day I vow to remind myself to enjoy every moment.

Isn't The Term "Boob Tube" A Bit Harsh??

My four year old daughter thinks that she can speak Spanish. Now, she does know some actual Spanish words, thanks to Dora and Diego, but she thinks she is actually fluent in Spanish. She will rattle off some kind of nonsensical gibberish and claim that it's Spanish. I LOVE this.

Most mothers I know are usually feeling a bit guilty for letting their kids watch TV.  Society has ingrained in our psyche that if you put your tot in front of the television, you're neglecting them, which equals being a bad mom.

I'm here to try and dispel that myth.

My precious learned the word "privacy" from a TV show and used it correctly telling me that she needed some when she headed into the bathroom. 

Another thing...she knows the difference between a Aptosaurus and a Stegosaurus, and I don't, so I certainly didn't teach it to her...thanks Dino Dan.

She used the word allegro to tell me to hurry up after watching Little Einsteins.

Now, I'm certainly not saying to plop your kid in front of the TV for hours upon end, but what I am saying is that moms, let's not beat ourselves up over an hour of Strawberry Shortcake (the new version, sadly not the original) so that we can get dinner on the table.

It's Alive!!

One of the scariest sounds I've ever heard came from my bathroom closet last night around 3:45am.
 
While taking a quick trip to the bathroom, I heard a sound that brought goose flesh to my arms and made my hair stand on end.

It began as an other-worldly static sound, like you hear in horror films, then I heard a child's voice..."Can I have more juice, mommy?", followed by "Mommy, I love bananas".

 This was not the voice of my child.

I slowly opened the closet door and there was Baby Alive, naked and wet, face down in the bottom of the closet.  Apparently she had taken a bath, which had somehow caused a short and allowed her to call out to me in the middle of the night.

There is no off switch to Baby Alive. 

I found myself rummaging through the junk drawer until I found a screwdriver, then removing the batteries there in the dark kitchen...creepy.

Easter Wonderful

This was the first Easter where my daughters actually realized what was going on.  I took extra steps to make it great.  I'd been talking up the Easter bunny for days and really drove home the idea that he's very "tricky" and likes to hide things from kids.  Later a relative chastised me, telling me I have the Easter bunny confused with Leprechauns, but I went with it.

I had the empty egg cartons strewn about (inside and out), half eaten raw carrots thrown around the kitchen, and eggs hidden inside and out.  I felt that the entire scene looked a little contrived, but when the girls woke up, their eyes sparkled with wonder. 

It was just priceless seeing their faces when they saw the carrots, "Mommy, the Easter Bunny stole some of our carrots!", and found the eggs, "Mommy, that silly bunny put an egg in my shoe!". 

What an amazing feeling!  The whole day was just wonderful.

Love love love seeing my girls enjoy things...it's like I get to relive my childhood all over.

  

Playing Possum

As I sit here tonight drinking wine, eating chocolate that I've raided from my daughters' yet to be made Easter baskets, I wonder...when did I lose the upper hand?
I just acted like a complete idiot trying to get my child to fall asleep.  First I ignored her, until she upped the ante to licking my cheek.  Next I was stern with her and told her it was time for bed.  She cried even louder, then rolled around the bed laughing like a lunatic.  Finally, and this is where I question my sanity...I PRETENDED to be ASLEEP.  What is wrong with me?  What kind of grown woman pretends to be asleep to hide from her 2 year old daughter???

Do other parents actually do this, too?  No matter what she did, I played possum.  She pulled my hair, I was asleep.  She pretended to be a cat, I was asleep.  She picked my nose, I was asleep.  The crazy thing was...it worked.  

By the way, chocolate covered Peeps are the bomb.

Mommy, It's Sooo Pretty

I absolutely refuse to have one more battle over what my daughter will wear. 

We've gone through many phases over the past four years.  It started with her refusal to wear anything that wasn't pink.  This was not too terribly difficult, due to the fact that I found out while I was carrying her that she would be a girl.  My family rushed out to buy anything they could find with ruffles, ribbons, and bows, most of which were pink.

Then, we moved on to only wearing dresses.  It couldn't be just any dress either, it had to be the three year old definition of "beautiful", which varied from day to day.  Often our daily outfits included some type of fake hair.  For a while, we wore a ratty Ariel wig everywhere we went.  Of course, the old lady at the grocery store would comment on how beautiful she looked in her Halloween costume, to which my daughter would indignantly reply, "This is NOT a costume!"

Now, we have an issue with wearing anything that we haven't specifically chosen ourselves.  Mommy doesn't always keep up with the laundry, so many days we wear a pajama top with a ball gown skirt, winter tights under last year's favorite summer dress (that she has found in the mess of clothing on her closet floor), and my favorite...bathing suit as underwear.

Let it be, I say.
S3XCGQWUBAN4

The Perfect Foundation

I'm in search of the perfect foundation. I've tried everything from the most expensive, to the cheap drugstore brands and I'm still not satisfied.
 
I believe I've come to a crossroads...is it the makeup, or my aging skin.

I think I've almost got it right. So far, my favorite is the HD makeup from Make Up Forever, but something is still not right. I LOVE the way it looks when I apply it, but find that later in the day, I'm looking a little blotchy and tired. Again, I ask myself is it the makeup or me? As I approach 40, (I still get to use the word "approach" since I'm still a few months away) it seems that it's harder and harder to find something that makes me look relatively flawless, but not masky.

No matter what the answer, things can only be improved by finding the perfect makeup, so the search continues.

  Let me say that I used to balk at the idea of getting Botox, or some equivalent, but now I'm actually considering it. Does that make me a bad person? Should I be honest about it, or pretend that I have good genes?

Many things to consider...

Becoming Mom

Okay, so it's happening.  Some of the things that I say sound suspiciously like what I heard as a child.  In some cases, it's out of my mouth before I'm even aware of it.

My mom had a certain way of phrasing her expectations so that they sounded like she would never imagine that you would do...whatever you happen to be doing.

 I'll call this practice, issuing the passive-aggressive threat. 

An example, "I hope you two aren't jumping on the bed up there, after I told you how dangerous it is!" or "I'd hate to see you miss dessert when the rest of us will be having delicious cake".  Let me tell you, after the confusion passed, the passive-aggressive threats worked.

My favorite was probably the sneak attack, which was quite effective in middle and high school.  After avoiding whatever chore we were requested to do, mom would hit us with the, "You don't want to unload the dishwasher...that's fine, I'll remember that the next time you ask me for something".  Chores done.

My oldest daughter recognizes this tactic, because I heard her say to her sister, "I guess you don't want to share my toy". 

Even the youngest one understands the power of the passive-aggressive threat.  When I asked her what she was doing behind the chair, she replied, "Not pooping", when clearly that was exactly what she was doing.

This can happen...

As I've mentioned, I love playing with makeup.  Sometimes I can get carried away, and may spend too much time trying on, playing with, and arranging my makeup.  


Unfortunately, many times I have caught my daughters trying on, playing with, and arranging my makeup also...of course they hide to do it.

Recently I caught one of them hiding in the corner with my concealer palette.  She had completely concealed her lips away.  

Make Up and other Stuff

Those of you know know me are aware that I'm beauty product obsessed.  I try, buy, and research LOTS of stuff.  I especially love makeup.  I thought I'd share a few of my "must have" beauty items for the "struggling to stay cool" mommy. 

• A good concealer is a must.  I love this one because it's easy to use and easy on the lines. Clinique's Line Smoothing Concealer

• MAC Skinfinish Mineralize pressed powder.  LOVE this.  It's natural looking, but does something magical to the face.

• Benefit "Dallas" bronzer  This is great as a bronzer or good to slap on as a blush when you're running late.  I like it because it's not shimmery.

• Benefit Bad Gal Lash Mascara, for when I'm feeling a little flirty, or just can't find time to put anything else on my eyes ;)

• Urban Decay 24/7 eye and lip pencils These pencils are soft and the eye pencils stay on forever.  The fat eye liners are a great substitute for shadow.

• Moroccan Oil smells delightful and smooths flyaways, while adding shine.  Gives you beachy hair.

• My Secret Hair Enhancer is for when I need to have my hair colored, but haven't done it yet.  Spray it on and you can go at least an extra two weeks!

Ignorance

Things I said that I’d NEVER do when I had kids, that I now do:

1. Have a living room full of toys, including a tent
2. Let both kids sleep in bed with me (while I wear earplugs)
3. Let them wear their pjs all day, and sometimes wear them out to the grocery store
4. Allow them to use my $25 Chanel lipgloss
5. Live on a diet of chicken nuggets and hot dogs (them not me)
6. Let them make a mess of the toy section when shopping, including of course the things that I sneak OUT of the cart and put where they don't belong before checking out
7. Watch children's programming 90% of the time and know all the words to most theme songs (I've googled every one of the Freshbeats)
8. Tell them they can have a prize if they (insert bribe)

Played

Last night, my husband and I went on a date.  A late dinner date.  Our reliable and fabulous babysitter arrived and the girls were thrilled to see her.  We haven't seen her in a while and it was the first time she's babysat since both girls have graduated to big girl beds. 

As we snuck out of the house, I felt a little shameful, knowing that there was no possible way that the girls would go to sleep with the sitter. 

Most nights, it takes a team of adults, many stuffed animals, warm chocolate milk and blankies to get to sleep.  Also, either myself or dad must actually lay with them, then creep out once we're sure that our little angels have finally fallen to sleep.  I'll admit that I've been caught by my three year old, crab-crawling like a lunatic across her bedroom floor before she was officially asleep, which by the way is much scarier than anything in her imagination.

Imagine my shock (and horror) when the sitter texted me just to let me know that both girls were asleep in their own beds!  I showed dad the text and we stared at it dumbfounded.  How? How? How?

Not wanting to directly interrogate the sitter, I did what any reasonable mother would do...I questioned Lucy about how the sitter put them to sleep the next day.  Her reply, "She sat on the stool and read us a story, just like you do, mommy". 

Ummm, okay..
That's so not what I do.