Mommy Hangin' On

A blog about one mother's desperate attempts to hang on to some kind of cool.


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Monday, June 27, 2011

The Princess Cops a Squat

My eldest is a little princess.  She's dainty, wears dresses, plays with makeup, has tea parties while speaking in a british get the idea.

One of my favorite passtimes is to watch her play with her sister in the backyard, while doing dishes at the kitchen sink. I can see them, but they don't know they're being watched, which is actually really fun and often very informative.

Imagine my surprise while observing one day, to see my eldest excuse herself from her tea party, (she actually said "excuse me madame" to her younger sister), exited the little pink playhouse, took off her skirt and peed right there, drunken sorority girl style, in her front yard.

I stood at the sink with mouth agape.  Where had she learned this little trick??  I yelled from the kitchen and asked her what in the world she was doing. 

She replied, fake british accent still intact, "So sorry mommy, but  I didn't want to pee pee in my pants.  How rude.". 

Actually that makes perfect sense.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Black Eye and Hitler Mustache

 Sephora is one of the best places that a girl can spend the day.  You can come in with a naked face and leave looking like Lady Gaga, if you want to. 
This past weekend, I decided to venture into Sephora, with the girls in tow, to see what was new.  I must admit, I shed a proud tear that my girls have inherited my  love of all things beauty, but on this particular day their interest was quite the source of humiliation.

As I browsed through the latest Urban Decay eyeshadow colors, my girls did some browsing, and sampling of their own. 

No sooner had I turned to the display to begin, when I noticed a small person to my left attacking the new (gasp) Makeup Forever eye shadows.  She turned to face me and I noticed that she mad managed to create the perfect purple-pinkish facial contusion on herself.  It was a CSI quality bruise. I ignored her for the moment, after all she was busy and quiet, and returned to my work.

Next,  I glimpsed a blonde, curly mop bobbing past.  At first look, a happy two year old.  Upon closer inspection, a small Charlie Chaplin impersonator, or could it be...Hitler?  Oh no...she had gotten a hold of the latest Kat Von D eye shadow kit and had applied an offensive mustache to herself.

In horror, I grabbed them and ran off toward the elevator.  Another shopping day ruined.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Note to Self

Dear Self,

I'd like to suggest that you put down the Oreos and remember that you ordered that bridesmaid's dress in a size smaller than you should have.

 Listen, I know you're thinking that you still have plenty of time to fit into it, but don't kid's really going to be awful if you have to wear two pair of Spanx just to zip it up, and you can forget about enjoying your dinner while wearing those torture devices.

Just Trying to Help,


P.S., I know the cupcakes taste good, but they are not your friend. 

Friday, June 10, 2011

Thought it many times...

I can't tell you how many times I've thought this...but have not voiced it.  Definately going to pick this one up!  Who's with me???

Thursday, June 9, 2011

New iphone (that I never get to use)

38 pictures just like this one...
I could not wait to get my new iphone, and now that it's here, I don't really get to use it. 

Well, if there was ever any doubt that children these days are better at using technology...I'm here to tell you it's true. 

My two year old can operate my iphone 4 better than I can.  She can take pictures (see above), use all of the apps (especially the annoying ones), and can make calls (sometimes to people we know, sometimes not), but most of all she can text.  She sends LONG texts.  Sure they mean nothing now, but I have high hopes.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Magic Times

This weekend, I brought my daughters downtown for the first time this year.  It was a beautiful day and I had some errands to run, so I explained to them that we would be heading into the city.   They were very excited and were expecting to see something like "Berry-Bitty City" on their Strawberry Shortcake Cartoon.  When I explained to them that we would be going into an underground tunnell (the concourse), Lucy was excited to see all of the dirt and bugs???

We all skipped across the plaza, holding hands, windblown, the girls each wearing one of my sweatshirts, laughing all the way.  A simple errand had turned into something magical. 

A moment of clarity: these are the magic times, times that seem like they're just about the best that life can offer, times when you just want to freeze eveything, capture the moment and remember it forever.

For a second, I thought of fishing through my purse to take a picture with my phone, but decided against it, choosing to just enjoy being there.  Can a picture really capture it anyway?