Ignorance

Things I said that I’d NEVER do when I had kids, that I now do:

1. Have a living room full of toys, including a tent
2. Let both kids sleep in bed with me (while I wear earplugs)
3. Let them wear their pjs all day, and sometimes wear them out to the grocery store
4. Allow them to use my $25 Chanel lipgloss
5. Live on a diet of chicken nuggets and hot dogs (them not me)
6. Let them make a mess of the toy section when shopping, including of course the things that I sneak OUT of the cart and put where they don't belong before checking out
7. Watch children's programming 90% of the time and know all the words to most theme songs (I've googled every one of the Freshbeats)
8. Tell them they can have a prize if they (insert bribe)